Struggling, but hanging on

Today has been a real struggle. I'm feeling very depressed, but I am learning to manage it. I've learned in the past week that exercising, eating the 6 balenced meals a day, and getting enough rest are ESSENTIAL for my mental health. However, the cloudy weather REALLY affects me too and I can't change the weather! I just want to eat a dozen chocolate chip cookies or just crawl in my bed and stay there all day. So far, I've eaten great though and I'll continue to do so. Someone was commenting to me today about how unusual it is to have two brothers die as young as mine did. It helped me snap out of my wanting to quit mode as I told them it is unusual, and that I'm taking good care of myself so my parents don't have to go through it again. I feel the conviction of how important this is. It isn't about my appearance anymore, it's about my LIFE. As for the depression, I will keep searching to find ways to help it be better. I may look into the box lights that I can sit under every day. I know that beautiful colors help me and so does up-lifting music. I will no longer be a victim who gives up. I WILL finish this Twelve Week Challenge!