The Reason for This Blog

I'm mourning the death of my brother. He committed suicide on Dec. 21st. He was my second brother to die and he was my final sibling. They both died too young. BOTH of my brother's deaths could have been prevented. The details don't matter. I'm left with an emptiness and sorrow that is hard to explain. My brothers each had a child they left behind. I feel how important it is that I'm a good role-model for these kids. I've decided to start a program called Body for Life. It's a Twelve Week program that involves great nutrition and working out. I need to lose 30-40 pounds. As a way to work through my grief and honor my brothers who I love dearly, I'm starting this program today. I will finish it on April 21st. This is super scary for me to post this because I've tried this before and failed. I never did it in honor of my brothers before though. Before, I just obsessed over how I wanted to look. Now I have to have this to focus on so I'm not over-come with grief. I am a woman of faith and I believe in life after death, I'm just so sad for what could have been. In order to live true to what I believe, I need to make the most of my time here on earth and I need to care for this body that is such a gift. Here I go!